英语幽默小短文（幽默类的英语短文阅读）

本文目录

• 幽默类的英语短文阅读
• 英语幽默故事小短文欣赏:英语幽默故事
• 英语搞笑小短文带翻译
• 英语小幽默故事50字
• 英语短文小故事有趣幽默
• 英语课前三分钟幽默演讲稿 有趣的英语演讲小短文
• 幽默英语小故事短文200字

幽默类的英语短文阅读

　　随着经济全球化的发展和国际交往的日益频繁,语言成为人们互相交流的重要桥梁。英语教学已成为各级学校的重点教学内容。本文是幽默类的英语短文，希望对大家有帮助! 　　幽默类的英语短文：Be Careful What You Wish For 　　A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. 　　During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. 　　The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. 　　Next, it was the hu *** and’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." 　　The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety. 　　慎重许愿 　　一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 　　庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 　　妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 　　接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 　　仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。 　　幽默类的英语短文：Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸 　　A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn’t have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. 　　He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." 　　A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." 　　"I-75, two miles south of Standish." 　　After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?" 　　在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。 　　于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。 　　一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。 　　“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。 　　沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快?” 　　幽默类的英语短文：Friend for Dinner 　　Honey, said the hu *** and to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper. 　　What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal! 　　I know all that. 　　Then why did you invite a friend for supper? 　　Because the poor fools thinking about getting married. 　　请朋友吃饭 　　“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。” 　　“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。” 　　“这些我全都知道。” 　　“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?” 　　“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。” 　　幽默类的英语短文：A Peddler of Selling Earthen Basins ***卖瓦盆的小贩*** 　　A peddler sold earthen basins in the wayside, he chanted as knocked :"Earthen basin is round, beautiful and solid, judging by the sound, they are all good." At the time of his knocking, that earthen basin was broken into pieces with a crack***爆裂声*** . Lookers-on burst into the roars of laughter. He threw the fragments***碎片，残片*** without extra trouble into paddy***稻谷，稻田*** field, but an experienced peasant from the crowd did not let him off***放过，不惩罚*** easily:" How the deuce ***强式特指问句*** can you throw them into my field? They’ll impede ***妨碍***my growing crops!" The peddler who sold earthen basins tried to explain it away promptly:" Nothing, the fragments will be converted into powder as soon as they absorbed water ." 　　一个小贩在路边卖瓦盆，他一边敲一边唱：“瓦盆圆又圆，结实又好看，光听这声音，就知不一般。”敲著敲著，“啪啦”一声，把盆敲烂了。围观的人一阵哄笑。他顺手把碎片扔进了稻田里，谁知人群中一个老农不干了：“你怎么能往我地里扔?这不影响我种田吗?” 卖瓦盆的小贩连忙辩解：“不要紧，瓦片见水一会儿就粉了。” 　　

英语幽默故事小短文欣赏:英语幽默故事

　　幽默是所有艺术都具备的艺术形式,幽默是人类所特有的一种感情,在所有艺术中都普遍存在着这种感情的表达方式。我整理了英语幽默故事小短文，欢迎阅读!　　英语幽默故事小短文篇一 　　Five Months Older 　　The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. 　　But John’s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy’s family name, so when he saw John’s papers, he was surprised. 　　"How old are you?" he said. 　　"Eighteen, sir," said John. 　　"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?" 　　"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am." 　　大五个月 　　第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。 　　可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。 　　“你多大了?”军医问。 　　“十八，长官。”约翰说。 　　“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?” 　　约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。” 　　英语幽默故事小短文篇二 　　My Husband Will Be Home Soon 　　A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard. 　　"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." 　　James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn’t possibly do it, she would kill me!!" 　　"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice... 　　"Oh really, I can’t," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!" 　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping. 　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here, my husband will be home soon!" 　　我丈夫马上就要回来了 　　一个已婚男人去拜访他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。 　　“噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。” 　　詹姆斯回答说，“我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的。” 　　“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。 　　“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜欢这胡子。” 　　在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。 　　妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，“噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。” 　　英语幽默故事小短文篇三 　　Hospitality 　　The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 　　好客 　　由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

英语搞笑小短文带翻译

　　笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。我整理了英语搞笑小短文带翻译，欢迎阅读!

　　英语搞笑小短文带翻译篇一

　　Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening.

　　有两名社会工作者在晚上的时候走过市区的简陋地方。

　　They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane.Upon investigation,

　　他们听到从后巷传来的求救呻吟声和很小的哭喊声。经调查，

　　they found a semiconscious man in a pool of blood.

　　他们发现有一个意识不清的人躺在血泊之中。

　　"Help me,I’ve been mugged and viciously beaten ." he pleaded.

　　他在恳求说：“救救我吧，我被人行凶抢劫，还遭到恶意痛打一顿。”

　　The two social workers turned and walked away .

　　这两名社会工作者转身离去。

　　One remarked to her colleague: " You know the person that did this really needs help."

　　其中一位向她的同事说：“你知道吧，做这件事的人才是真正需要协助呀。”

　　英语搞笑小短文带翻译篇二

　　A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER.

　　有一名男子患有心脏病，被送往医院急诊室。

　　The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.

　　医生告诉他，除非他立刻接受心脏移植，否则他就活不成。

　　Another doctor runs into the room and says,

　　另外一名，医生跑进急诊室说：

　　"you are in luck,two hearts just became avaible ,so you will get to choose which one you want.One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."

　　“你真幸运，刚好有两个心脏可移植，所以你要选择你要哪一个心脏。一个是属于律师，另一个是属于社会工作者。”

　　The man quickly responds,"the attorney’s ."

　　这名男子很快响应说：“律师的。”

　　The doctor says,"Wait!Don’t you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"

　　医生说：“等等!你不想在你做决定之前了解一下他们吗?”

　　The man says,"I already know enough.We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney’s probably never used his .So I will take attorney’s!"

　　这名男子说：“我已经知道够了。大家都知道社会工作者都是流血的(有同情心的)心脏，而律师的心脏可能从来都不曾用过他的。所以我选择律师的心脏。"

　　英语搞笑小短文带翻译篇三

　　Helen was on her deathbed ,

　　海伦躺在她临终的病床上奄奄一息。

　　with her husband Jack at her side.

　　她的丈夫陪在她的身旁。

　　He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.

　　他握着她冰冷的手，泪水静静地从他的脸上流下来。

　　Her pale lip moved. "Jack," she said,"

　　她苍白的嘴唇颤动着。她说：“杰克，”

　　Hush," he quickly interrupted, "Don’t talk."

　　他很快就打断说：“嘘，不要说话。”

　　But she insisted,"Jack,"she said in her tired voice.

　　但是她坚持要说，她以疲惫的声音说：

　　"I have to talk.I must confess.”

　　“杰克，我一定要说。我必须向你坦白。”

　　"There is nothing to confess,"said the weeping Jack.

　　满脸泪水的杰克说：“没什么好坦白的。

　　"It’s all right.Everything’s all right."

　　没关系。一切都没事。”

　　"No,No!I must die in peace.I must confess,Jake ,that I have been unfaithful to you."

　　“不，不，我必须死得安心。我一定要坦白我对你不忠;红杏出墙。”

　　Jack stroked her hand .

　　杰克抚摸着她的手。

　　"Now ,Helen,don’t be concerned.I know all about it," he sobbed.

　　他啜泣着说：“海伦 ，现在你不要担心了。我全部都知道了。

　　"Why else would I poison you ?"

　　不然我为什么要毒死你呀?"

英语小幽默故事50字

① 少于50字的搞笑英语小短文「带翻译」

1、Text(正文):The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but hisgrandma doted on him. He hardly left her side.

And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother’s loving arms.

When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"

"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn’t cry, but the teacher did!"

六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。

约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”

“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”

2、Text(正文):The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You’re not ing empty-hangded, are you?"

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

3、Text(正文):One evening I drove my hu *** and’s car to the shopping mall.On my return, I noticed that how sty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.

When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

My hu *** and looked up and said, "Mom’s here?"

一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？

4、Text(正文):"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what’s wrong with me."

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I’ve just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants recing by nearly fifty pounds.

Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I’m an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。

“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

5、Text(正文):A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."

Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain’s voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."

At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete’s sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we’ll be up here all night!"

一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。”

过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”

(1)英语小幽默故事50字扩展阅读：

第一个笑话中spoil造句示例如下：

1、Others say they do not want to spoil their children by leaving them too much.

还有人表示，他们不想给子女留下太多钱，以免宠坏他们。

2、Once you pop open the cork, wines can spoil in a matter of hours.

一旦你打开软木塞，葡萄酒就会在数小时内变质。

3、They say it only takes a few bad apples to spoil the bunch.

他们说这只需要少数的害群之马便可毁了一堆。

4、A fond mother may spoil her child.溺爱的母亲可能会宠坏她的孩子。

5、The child was spoilt by his grandfather.这个孩子被他的爷爷给惯坏了。

② 英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译）

Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter?

为什么大象不玩电脑？

A: He’s afraid of the mouse!

他害怕老鼠！

鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。

mouse n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人

2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor’s office and asked for help。

"Doctor, I don’t know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."

"Oh, don’t worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.

一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。

“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”

“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。

3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.

He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I’m not dead. I’m still alive."

"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.

他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."

医生说:"我怕他已经死了."

听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."

妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"

And God says: "A penny".

Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"

And God says: "a second",

Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"

And God says "In a second". 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.

他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"

上帝回答:"一便士."

男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"

上帝说:"一秒钟."

最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"

上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That’s too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I’d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

③ 英语小故事【简短些，50字】

④ 小学生六年级英语幽默小故事带翻译50字

  The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly o hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I’ll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我回向进化论者提个问题——如果我答们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”

⑤ 英语小故事带翻译10篇50字

英语小故事—The Real Princess 小学403字 There was once a prince who wished to marry a princess; but then she must be a real princess. He travelled all over the world in hopes of finding such a lady; but there was always something wrong. Princesses he found in plenty; but whether they were real princesses it was impossible for him to decide, for now one thing, now another, seemed to him not quite right about the ladies. At last he returned to his palace quite cast down, because he wished so much to have a real Princess for his wife. 从前有一位王子，他想找一位公主结婚，但她必须是一位真正的公主。他走遍了全世界，想要寻到这样的一位公主。可是无论他到什么地方，他总是碰到一些障碍。公主倒有的是，不过他没有办法断定她们究竟是不是真正的公主，她们好象总是有些地方不大对头。结果，他只好回到自己的皇宫来，心中很不快活，因为他是那么渴望着得到一位真正的公主。 One evening a fearful tempest arose, it thundered and lightened, and the rain poured down from the sky in torrents: besides, it was as dark as pitch. All at once there was heard a violent knocking at the door, and the old King, the Prince’s father, went out himself to open it. It was a princess who was standing outside the door. What with the rain and the wind, she was in a sad condition; the water trickled down from her hair, and her clothes clung to her body. She said she was a real princess. 有一天晚上，忽然起了一阵可怕的暴风雨。天空中风驰电掣，大雨倾盆而降，四周一片漆黑。就在这时，响起了一阵剧烈的敲门声，老国王自己去开门。 站在城外的是一位公主。可是，天哪!经过了风吹雨打之后，她的样子是多么难看啊!水沿着她的头发和向下面流，她的衣服粘在身上。她说她是真正的公主。 Ah! we shall soon see that! thought the old Queen-mother; however, she said not a word of what she was going to do; but went quietly into the bedroom, took all the bed-clothes off the bed, and put a little pea on the bedstead. She then laid enty mattresses one upon another over the pea, and put enty feather beds over the mattresses. Upon this bed the Princess was to pass the night. 是的，这点我们马上就可以考查出来。 老皇后心里想，可是她什么也没说。她静静地走进卧房，把所有的被褥都搬开，在床榻上放了一粒豌豆。然后她取出二十床垫子，把它们压在豌豆上。随后，她又在这些垫子上放了二十床鸭绒被。 这位公主夜里就睡在这些东西上面。 The next morning she was asked how she had slept. Oh, very badly indeed! she replied. I have scarcely closed my eyes the whole night through. I do not know what was in my bed, but I had something hard under me, and am all over black and blue. It has hurt me so much! Now it was plain that the lady must be a real Princess, since she had been able to feel the little pea through the enty mattresses and enty feather beds. None but a real Princess could have had such a delicate sense of feeling. So the prince took her for his wife, for now he knew that he had a real princess; and the pea was put in the museum, where it may still be seen, if no one has stolen it. 豌豆公主 第二天早晨大家问她昨晚睡得怎样。 啊，不舒服极了! 公主说， 我差不多整夜没合上眼!天晓得我床上有件什么东西?我睡到一块很硬的东西上面，弄得我全身发青发紫，这真怕人! 现在大家就看出来了。她是一位真正的公主，因为压在这二十床垫子和二十床鸭绒被下面的一粒豌豆，她居然还能感觉得出来。除了真正的公主以外，任何人都不会有这么嫩的皮肤的。 因此那位王子就选她为妻子了，因为现在他知道他得到了一位真正的公主。这粒豌豆因此也就被送进了博物馆，如果没有人把它拿走的话，人们现在还可以在那儿看到它呢。

⑥ 求英文幽默小故事 少一点 越少越好 带中文翻译

1 理所当然 Taken for Granted THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o". One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to "Sox": "Usually brown." 某学校发给学生的健康调查表里有个错别字——把“性别”的“性”字写成了“袜”字。一位母亲在为她的儿子填写表格时，在“袜别”的那栏填上了：“棕色为主。” 英语 中sex（性）与sox（袜）只有一个字母之差。 2 一只小猫 Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a *** all box with holes punched in the top. " What\’s in your box?" asked the friend. "A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I\’ve been dreaming about mice at night and I\’m so scared! This cat is to catch them." "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. "So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。 “盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。 “一只小猫，” 布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。” “可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。 “小猫也是假想的。” 布朗夫人小声说道。 3 约会 When the young waitress in the café in Tom’s building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?" "Why, yes," Tom replied, *** iling at her broadly. "So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?" 在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？” “对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。 “我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？”

⑦ 10篇英语小故事50字

Just after class,a teacher asked to a student"Boy,why have you got cotton in your ear?Is it infected?You look very pain," "No,sir,but you just told me everything my a ear went in one ear and out.so I am trying to stop it." “孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?” “没有,老师.可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面.” Last week,Mrs Black went to London.She didn’t know London very well,and she lost her way.Suddenly she saw a man near a bus stop.She went up to the man and said,“Excuse me!Can you tell me the way to the hospital,please?” The man *** iled.He didn’t know English!He came from Germany.But then he put his hand into his pocket,and took out an English dictionary.He looked up some words.Then he said slowly,“I’m sorry I can’t understand you.” 上周,布莱克夫人去了一趟伦敦.她不太熟悉伦敦,结果她迷路了.突然她在一个公共汽车站附近看见一位男子.她急忙向这位男子走去,说道：“劳驾您一下!请您告诉我去医院的路,好吗?”这位男子笑了.他听不懂英语.他来自德国.但是他将手伸进了自己的衣袋里,从里面掏出了一本英语词典.他查找到了一些单词.然后他一字一句地说：“我很抱歉我听不懂你说的话.” It was a cold winter day in 1919.A *** all boy was walking along the street in London.His name was Tom.He was very hungry.He wanted to buy some bread,but he had no money.What could he do?When he was very young,he wanted to be a great man in the world of films.So he worked to sing and dance well.Thirty years later,the boy became one of the famous people in the world. 那是1919年的一个寒冷的冬天.一个小男孩正漫步在伦敦的街头.他的名字叫汤姆.他饿极了.他想买一些面包,可是他身无分文.他该怎么办呢?当他非常年幼的时候,他就想当一名电影世界中的伟人.所以他努力把歌唱好,把舞跳好.三十年之后,这个小男孩真地成为了电影世界中的著名人物之一. A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You’re a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are o cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱. “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说.“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的

英语短文小故事有趣幽默

英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：

　　Midway Tactics

　　Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

　　中间战术

　　三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

　　右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

　　左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

　　中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

　　Very Pleased to Meet You

　　During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

　　One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

　　Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

　　Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve e to visit Captain Humphreys."

　　"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

　　"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."

　　"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

　　在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。

　　一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。

　　后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。

　　琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”

　　“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。

　　“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”

　　“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”

　　Two Soldiers

　　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was Gee, and the second one‘s name was Bill. Gee said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

　　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

　　Then Gee said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and Gee wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so Gee said to him, "Are you going out?"

　　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

　　Gee said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

　　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

　　Gee looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"

　　军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”

　　比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

　　乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。

　　这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”

　　比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。

　　乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。

　　“你还要什么?”比尔问。

　　乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

英语课前三分钟幽默演讲稿 有趣的英语演讲小短文

很多人想知道在英语课前三分钟能够演讲什么内容，下面我为大家推荐一些英语课前比较幽默的三分钟演讲稿，供参考!

英语课前比较幽默的三分钟演讲稿

Why does football get people into a frenzy? Who is your idol? It may be Napoleon, Picasso, or Michael Jackson. But who is my idol?

 Can you guess? It is Ronaldo. He is the No. 1 super star of football. Football is a game in which 22 people chase one ball around a large field. The aim of the game is to get the ball into the net to score. 

After all, it’s such an easy game, and yet people go crazy mad over it. The answer lies in two facts. One is the game itself. Sometimes it is beyond any description. Football is a game of passes and techniques, passion and love, more importantly, unity is the key---the whole team working as one, united they will never be defeated. 

The European’s style. of play is like a Waltz, the Brazilian like a Samba, and the passionate Argentineans play as if they are doing a Tango. Football is so unpredictable, so unbelievable. You will never know who will win until the last minute. Especially when suddenly there is a goal, the fans who have been sitting on the edge of their seats, will be wild with joy and excitement; and the losers with disappointed hearts will despair over their teams. The other is of course the super stars. Each one has his own personality, just like my idol Ronaldo. 

When he smiles, we all smile with him. Who can forget that buck-toothed smile, or that unique hairstyle. during the 2002 World Cup. Ronaldo was born to a poor family. He has set an example to children who can’t afford a pair of shoes, but have talent and a passion for football. He gives them confidence and hope of a better future. Football is the game that wins everyone’s heart and the best game ever invented. 

为什么足球会让人变得疯狂? 谁是你的偶像?这可能是拿破仑，毕加索和迈克尔·杰克逊。但我的偶像是谁?你能猜到吗?

这是罗纳尔多。他是1号足球超级明星。 足球是一场比赛，22人在一个大的领域追逐一个球。比赛的目的是把球打进网以得分。 毕竟，这是一个很容易的游戏，但人们疯狂的疯狂。答案在于两点。一个是游戏本身。有时它是超越任何描述。

足球是一种传球和技术，激情和爱，更重要的是，团结是关键---整个团队合作，团结，他们永远不会被击败。 游戏的欧洲的风格就像一首圆舞曲，巴西人喜欢桑巴，和热情的阿根廷人玩如果他们正在做的探戈。足球是如此的不可预测，如此令人难以置信。你永远不会知道谁会赢，直到最后一分钟。特别是突然有一个进球，那些坐在他们座位边上的球迷，会带着喜悦和兴奋的心情，失望的心会让他们的球队感到绝望。 另一则是超级明星。

每个人都有自己的个性，就像我的偶像罗纳尔多。当他微笑时，我们都对他微笑。谁能忘记，巴克齿的微笑，或独特的发型在2002世界杯。罗纳尔多出生于一个贫穷的家庭。他给孩子们树立了一个不起一双鞋子的榜样，但有一个天才和对足球的热情。他给他们信心和希望的一个更好的未来。

足球是一场比赛，是每一个人心中最好的游戏，永远存在! 

2、I received a devastating blow to my self-confidence in the first interview of my college years. I applied to be a host in our Student Acting Troupe and felt confident that I would be accepted. But one of the panel members told me: "You seem inadequate and you are a little vertically-challenged." My life has never been the same since. I used bigger heels to complement my height and psychological maneuvers and tricks to hide my lack of confidence. But no matter how hard I tried to look the part, there was still something missing. 

As president of English Club, I organized the rehearsal of Snow White for an English party. Unfortunately, we could not find an actor to be the last dwarf. It had to be someone who was humorous by nature and fluent in English. 

Suddenly, all eyes turned to me, and I knew I would have to be the dwarf. To my great surprise and delight, once on stage, I was totally absorbed in the performance and my humorous nature was put to full use. As the dwarf, I was a big hit. Yes, each of us is only one among millions of others, but each of us is an individual and each of us is unique. 

Cultivating our individuality will transform our lives, making of them a kaleidoscope of new colors and textures. A world deprived of diversity would be a bland and boring place. The real tragedy is not being short or shy or ugly, but having your identity lost in a world in which everyone is a clone of a model cool boy or a flawless charming girl. Given a choice, I would rather be ugly than live in such a world. I’d rather be a genuine dwarf accompanying a Snow White than be a Snow White among nothing but Snow Whites.

 I would rather be myself. I would contribute my individual and unique colors to create a more diverse universe. Please, be yourself. 

大学生活的几年里，当我参加第一次面试时，我的自信心受到了沉重的打击。我向“学生剧团”申请出演一个主角，而且我十分自信地认为我会被录用。

但是,其中有个剧团成员告诉我:“你似乎不太合适出演这个角色，因为你的身高有点问题。”我从未遇到过这种情况。我穿着高跟鞋来弥补我的身高，采用心理策略和技巧来掩盖自己信心的缺乏。但是，不论我怎样努力进入角色，感觉还是缺少些什么。 作为英语俱乐部的主席，我为英语晚会组织排演了《白雪公主》短剧。不幸的是，我们找不到合适的人选出演最后一个小矮人。这个角色必须生性幽默，英语流利。突然，所有人的目光都转向了我，我知道那个小矮人就是我了。让我极度奇怪而又高兴的是，一上台，我完全投入到演出中，而且我那幽默的天性被发挥得淋漓尽致。作为一个‘’小矮人”，我取得了巨大的成功。

 的确，我们中的任何一个人都是千百万中的一员，但我们中的每个人都是一个与众不同的个体。发挥我们自己的个性会改变我们的生活，使它们成为美丽的万花筒。 失去了多样性的世界是个冷漠、乏味的地方。真正的悲剧不是个矮、害羞或丑陋，而是将自己的个性迷失在一个克隆的世界里，那里到处都是典型的酷男孩或无瑕、迷人的好姑娘。 

如果让我选择，我宁可面貌五陋，也不愿生活在这样一个世界里。我宁可做一个伴随“白雪公主”的真实的小矮人，也不愿做“白雪公主”世界里的一个白雪公主。 

励志三分钟英语演讲稿件推荐

1、Work and Play【工作与娱乐】

Work and play do not contradict each other; infact, they complement each other. As the sayinggoes, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." A life burdened with work leads you nowhere,

for you would get tired and bored with your dailyroutine work. On the other hand, proper recreation will relieve the tension and discomfortof our monotonous life because it offers youvarious ways to let out your pent-up emotions.

What I usually do to relax after school isjogging and seeing movies. Usually I don’t sparetime for exercise, but I value the physical educationclass at school. Jogging several rounds in thefield

certainly relieves the day’s pressure. Onweekends, I’ll catch the morning movie for myvisual enjoyment. I feel revived and energetic foranother week’s work-load.工作与娱乐并不互相冲突事实上它们之间的关系还相辅相成。有句格言说整日工

作而没有休闲娱乐会令人变得沉闷乏味。被工作重担压得喘不过气来的生活将使你一事无成因为你将对一成不变的例行公事感到厌烦。由另一方面来说适度的娱乐活动能提供各种管道来渲你被压抑的情绪减轻单调生活中的紧张与不悦。

放学之后我最常做的休闲活动便是慢跑与看电影。通常我并不特地拨出时间来做运动但是我很重视学校的体育课。在操场上慢跑几圈无疑地可以减轻一天的压力。在周末时我都去看早场电影享受视觉飨宴。如此一来我将有如再生般的充沛活力去面对下一星期的工作量。

2. My Favorite Sports【我最喜爱的运动】

Sports help everyone to keep healthy, happy, andefficient. So I pay special attention to games,especially table-tennis. Table tennis is myfavorite game. I play it almost every day. Table-tennis is an ideal game us because itbrings the whole body into action. It strengthensour

muscles, expands our lungs, promotes thecirculation of the blood, and causes a healthyaction ofthe skin. Besides, it is very amusing and does notcost us much money. Table-tennis is very moderate;it is not so rough as football. It is an indoorgame and can be played even on rainy days.Thus, it is my favorite kind of exercise.运动能帮助每一个人保持健康、快乐和有效率。所以我特别重视运动特别是桌球桌球是我最喜欢的运动。我几乎每天玩。桌球对我们而言是一项理想的运动因为它可以使我们全身运动它可以增强我们的肌肉扩张我们的肺部促进血液循环并且使肌肤产生健康作用此外它很有趣而且所费不多。桌球是相当温和适中的它不像足球那么粗野。它是一种室内运动甚至在下雨天也能玩。因此桌球是我最喜爱的一种运动。

幽默英语小故事短文200字

1. Midway Tactics Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 2. Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I“m going abroad tomorrow, but I“d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I“ve e to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that“s all right," answered Joan. "I“m his sister." "I“m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I“m his mother!" 在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，"我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。"琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 琼到了医院，她对护士长说，"我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。" "这里只有亲属可以探望病人。"护士长说。 "噢，是的，"琼说，"我是他的妹妹。" "很高兴认识你，"护士长说，"我是他的母亲。" 希望能帮助到您，望采纳！ 　　Midway Tactics 　　Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. 　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" 　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" 　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 　　中间战术 　　三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 　　右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 　　左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 　　中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 　　Very Pleased to Meet You 　　During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. 　　One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. 　　Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. 　　Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve e to visit Captain Humphreys." 　　"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. 　　"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." 　　"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!" 　　在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。 　　一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 　　后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 　　琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。” 　　“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。 　　“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。” 　　“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。” 　　Two Soldiers 　　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was Gee, and the second one‘s name was Bill. Gee said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?" 　　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him. 　　Then Gee said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and Gee wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one. 　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so Gee said to him, "Are you going out?" 　　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door. 　　Gee said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped. 　　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him. 　　Gee looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?" 　　军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?” 　　比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。 　　乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。 　　这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?” 　　比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。 　　乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。 　　“你还要什么?”比尔问。 　　乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?” 　　Five Months Older 　　The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. 　　But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised. 　　"How old are you?" he said. 　　"Eighteen, sir," said John. 　　"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you ins?" 　　"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am." 　　大五个月 　　第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。 　　可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。 　　“你多大了?”军医问。 　　“十八，长官。”约翰说。 　　“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?” 　　约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。” 　　West Point 　　My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game beeen Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point." 　　One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not ing to West Point." 　　父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。” 　　一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。” 　　(6)Present for Girlfriend 　　At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked. 　　The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again." 　　送给女友的礼物 　　在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。 　　那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。” 　　Be Careful What You Wish For 　　A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. 　　During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. 　　The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. 　　Next, it was the hu *** and‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." 　　The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was niy. 　　慎重许愿 　　一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 　　庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 　　妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 　　接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 　　仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。 　　Wood Fire 　　One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Hu *** ands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened." 　　"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?" 　　森林之火 　　一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。” 　　“那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?” 　　智课 有 英汉双翻译的 文章